The Pet Connector

It's not just Communication - it's all about Healing!

Being an Animal Communicator

Emotional Leadership:

Who’s Really Running Your Household?

November 4, 2022

I’m embarrassed to say that up until a couple years ago, I’d have to admit that my answer to that question would be Fuji, my then 15-year- old calico cat.


Before I became an Animal Communicator, I had never even heard the term “Emotional Leadership,” and I had to see it play out before my very eyes before I had my big “aha” moment as a pet mom.


My cat population had dwindled down to a meager two: Pumpkin my 10-year-old fluffy, gold Walmart greeter who loved everyone, and Fuji, my snarky, opinionated, yet lovable matriarch. Fuji had welcomed at least eight other cats over the years – with no difficulty – until Lilli joined us.


Lilli entered the household at age 12, almost fully blind. I adopted her when I went to purchase bookshelves from a couple looking to re-home her when they sold their house, and would be living in temporary homes indefinitely. They were afraid Lilli wouldn’t be able to adjust to the constant upheaval because of her blindness.


I showed up on the scene to purchase the bookshelves just five days before the new owners would take possession of their house. They were in a desperate place with Lilli, frantically looking for a new family for her. Time was running out.


For the previous four months, I had a sense that it was time to bring another cat into the fold, but had no idea how to make that happen. In the past, my cats always found me!


Well, two days later I brought this beautiful, long-haired, muted tri-colored cat with a white muzzle and white paws home to join the family. Meanwhile I had done all the animal communication preparations I knew, in talking to each of the animals involved (Lilli, her two siblings, and my two cats) to let them know what was going to happen.


I had brought so many new cats into the house many times before, it didn’t even enter my mind that there would be a problem. I set up a bed for her, along with food, water, and a litter box in my basement bedroom, which included a small bathroom.


Pumpkin was welcoming, and became her new best friend. Fuji on the other hand, was apparently sick and tired of allowing any more cats in, so she began to bully Lilli, despite Lilli’s attempts to befriend her. She’d scare her whenever possible, usually by approaching her with hissing and swatting, forcing her to run for safety (not an easy job for a blind cat.)


The worst was being bullied while using the litter box. Lilli became scared to use the permanent common box in the utility room, and retreated to the “temporary” one I had set up in my bathroom. I became a prisoner in my own bathroom, having to navigate around that box for simple tasks like taking a shower.


I didn’t realize how captive I was to these cats until one day when Fuji made a rare appearance in my bedroom. Before Lilli arrived, she was a frequent visitor and often slept in the bed with me, but Lilli’s presence was upsetting to her. I had initially put Lilli in my room so she would have a safe place, until she was comfortable enough to explore the rest of the house. That seemed reasonable.


The following eye-opening incident happened about eight months into this adoption. I was in my basement bedroom with Lilli, and Fuji marched down the stairs over towards us. Could this be a breakthrough?


Au Contraire! She strutted by both Lilli and myself with her grandiose attitude and demeanor, pretending to go towards the bathroom to get some water. Instead, she positioned herself next to Lilli, hissed at her defiantly, turned and strutted away, purring as loudly as she could with a totally smug look on her face. I watched in horror. This cat is running my household.


While both sad and funny at the same time, I had to figure out a way to change the dynamics of my home and our relationships.


Were there other times when I allowed my cats to rule? 15 years earlier, when Fuji was a young cat and one of eight, I had a black and white male cat named Georgie that had been a stray and joined the family in 2002.

I marveled at how Georgie moved in and had such a way about him that despite the fact that he was not the oldest male, within a few years he became the King Cat. All the other cats respected him, everyone got along, and there were no behavior issues. 


After he died, there was no strong adult male cat to “take over the cat kingdom,” and I started noticing behavior problems like spraying. What’s going on here?


The other animals had felt secure with Georgie, but not with anybody else. I kept looking to see who was going to step up to the position and keep them in order, but nothing changed.


The incident between Fuji and Lilli, and my recollection of Georgie led to my “aha” moment regarding Emotional Leadership. I was supposed to be that one! I did not have the respect of my animals, and consequently they were running the show.


This is my summary of what I now understand Emotional Leadership to look like in my life: Each one of my animals knows that I’ve got their back! I had to make some changes to bring this about, and change the household dynamics.


Here are some of the things I did, and I believe are helpful to anyone needing to regain the leadership over their beloved pets. Please note: if you have a trainer, keep working with them, or you may need to get one, especially for dog parents.


(1) Visualizations: The goal is to shift the energy in the house! I drew pictures of what I wanted the household to look like, primarily with stick figures, as my artistic ability is limited. The intention behind it is vitally important. In my picture, I am larger than my animals, and I made a circle to connect each one to me. Then I sat with the picture, closed my eyes, and felt what that would be like. In my heart, I let each cat know that I had their back and that I was a place of safety for them. I did this daily – and still do – as part of my morning prayer and meditation practice.


(2) Being Fully Present to Them: This means to turn off the electronic devices when I’m with them one-on-one and they want my attention (unless we’re all watching TV together). They can feel it when I’m not present to them, like if I’m playing with my cell phone or talking to someone else. Another example would be when you’re playing with your dog or taking them for a walk. How many times do I see people on their phones at the park when they’re walking their dogs? Way too many…


(3) Just Be Together: Schedule specific time (even on the calendar if necessary) with each animal to play, or love on them! This might rejuvenate you, too.


(4) The Infinity Sign – Another energy shifting technique I did when Lilli and Fuji were really struggling, was to repeatedly draw the infinity sign (a sideways figure 8) in the air with my hand, directing it towards both of them, while I repeated the phrase: “The infinite potential of the greatest possibility of every cell.” I softened my face and smiled, essentially pouring love into both them and myself at the same time. 


So, I ask you again: Who is running your household? My answer now is: I AM!


If your answer is something different, I hope you’ll consider what changes you can make to improve your household dynamics and bring about more harmony, trust and respect. Your pets will feel safer, and your relationships with them will improve. I’m happy to say that Fuji and Lilli can now share the same space without hissing, swatting, or bullying. They even eat together, and I’m finally back to just one litter box!


Have a great day!

Kathy Boyer, The Pet Connector

Our Second Blog Entry

Healing after the Death of a Pet

April 28, 2022

I always refer to Big Boy as “My B.C.E.” (Best Cat Ever). Big Boy was my animal soul mate, and was 14 yrs old when he transitioned over 20 years ago. He was my first cat as an adult, a large, black and grey striped Tiger Cat, who slept on my head EVERY night, and nestled in my hair with a really big purr! When I would turn over in bed, he would turn over and face the other side with me.

Every time I left the house, I felt sadness and guilt, as I never wanted to be away from him. He was my protector and guard kitty, and we had a true heart connection.

We started out in VA Beach together, after my ex-husband and I adopted him from a friend. He was still a young cat, about 8-9 months old. He was allergic to his mother’s milk, so he had been bottle-fed, and bonded to humans as a young kitten. We moved to Japan together for 5 years, then to Georgia, and finally back to VA Beach.

After our last move to VA Beach, Big Boy developed cancer in the head area. This started affecting his vision and hearing. I was so attached to this cat, though, and was of the mindset that as long as he had the will to live, I would honor that. In reality, I just didn’t ever want to let him go. His condition continued to deteriorate, but I was determined to keep holding on to him. This was the cause of much of my guilt, as he was in pain, and I was oblivious.

The day before he died, I let him outside to be in the yard, which he loved. He slept outside in the sun for a long time, and then I brought him in. The next day, I noticed that he had “stopped purring,” and being responsive to me. I looked closer at his head, and some flies had laid eggs in there, and they had hatched. He was infested with maggots. I didn’t know what they were right away, but when we figured it out, I was mortified.

We took him to the emergency vet immediately and had him humanely euthanized. How could I have let this happen? I berated myself for 20 years at how selfish I was, and insensitive for not seeing the amount of pain he was in. I shut myself off emotionally towards other animals, although I took in many, many strays after that.

I am only just now starting to open up my heart to these beautiful animals that I currently have, thanks to the healing power of Tapping (EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique). Tapping has helped we work through the guilt, self- condemnation, self- hate, regret, selfishness, and sadness that I stuffed for 20 years.

I’m finally able to let go of this, and move on. I’m grateful to Big Boy for the love and gifts he gave to me, and for the healing I can now help bring to others through Tapping.

Oh, Nuts!

Is the Animal Kingdom trying to get your attention?

March 29, 2022

As a by-product of my path to becoming an Animal Communicator, I’ve found myself reconnecting with nature and experiencing a greater connection with the animal kingdom as a whole (to include mammals, birds, insects, reptiles, etc). Somewhere in the development of western culture, I believe we have lost that sense of connection and unity. My greatest insights and inspirations come to me while hiking on the Blue Ridge Parkway, or sitting along its overlooks, admiring beautiful mountains or glorious sunsets in front of me.


It had never occurred to me that the Animal Kingdom might be trying to get my attention, to impart words of encouragement or counsel. I have greatly expanded my experience of Animal Communication, from learning telepathy (the transference of words, pictures, and feelings) to listening to all of nature.


A friend of mine, also an Energy Healer, once told me about a meaningful book she referenced when she began to notice when various species of animals – particularly one type of bird – repeatedly appeared to her, sometimes in places they would ordinarily not be found.


It’s the Pocket Guide to a book called “Animal-Speak” by Ted Andrews. It provides simple keynote messages associated with over 290 animals, including birds, mammals, insects and arachnids, reptiles and sea life. It catches the essence of the various species, and what we can learn from them. It's the perfect size for me to have on hand when I want to reference an animal.


I began my own “experiments” of listening, and along the way, I’ve had so much fun doing this! I’m experiencing a sense of unity with all of life that I can barely describe, and I want to share my fun insights with all of you – as well as encourage you to conduct your own “experiments” with nature! I’ve found that the more I’m willing to listen, the more plentiful and enriching are my experiences.


It started with a squirrel. Just an ordinary squirrel playing in my front yard. I took a few extra moments to observe it, but didn’t think anything more about it until I went for a walk the next day at our local park (which has an abundant squirrel population.)


My mind was on so many things, as it often is, and I love to do the 1.3 -mile loop around the park with its beautiful huge poplar, maple, oak and other hardwood trees to clear my head and sort things out. This time, the topic of my overactive brain concerned my finances and what to do with a certain amount of money I had set aside. Should I invest it? Should I just keep it in my savings account? Should I re-do some of my other finances?


About 50 feet into my walk, I saw a squirrel to my right, on the grass facing me, standing perfectly still. Then literally about 6 ft further, there was another squirrel situated in the same position, facing me and again not moving. Following that, evenly spaced another 6 ft ahead, was  a THIRD squirrel – yes, in the same position as the other two, also stoic. What’s going on with these squirrels?


I completed my loop around the park, thinking about those squirrels (and every other squirrel I saw for the next 30 minutes!). It dawned on me that the spirit of the “squirrel species” might be trying to give me a message.


When I got home, I immediately opened the Animal-Speak book to find out what the squirrel might want to tell me. Here was the message: “Balance your work and play. Prepare for the future, but do not get lost in preparations. Find ways to gather and to gift.”


Prepare for the future, but do not get lost in preparations. I had just been thinking about my money, and as I read that message, it totally resonated with me. I also tend to “work a lot and play very little,” so when the first sentence said to balance your work and play, that was another BINGO for me!


This little pocket guide had caught my attention! Thus, my encounter with the squirrels is permanently affixed in my mind. I’ve also noticed that when I need that gentle reminder to balance work and play, the squirrels again grab my attention.


I have many more stories to share, and with each new discovery and encounter with various species, (bees, snakes, ants, butterflies, and cardinals to name a few) my awareness of humanity’s connection with all of life is ever expanding. The connection has always been there. I know that I personally need to continue restoring that connection. What an amazing universe!


My challenge to you: Keep an open mind when you notice an animal/bird/insect/reptile making its presence known to you - usually more than once. You might experience it as an extra heart moment, just enough to get your attention. At least that’s what happens most often with me, as sometimes I’m a slow learner!


If you have a story to share of a special encounter with another species, please share it with me at [email protected]


Time to go eat some nuts, and put my work aside for the day…


Have a great one,

Kathy Boyer - The Pet Connector


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